The Words of Our Mouth

[Ramez5]

33 “If you grow a healthy tree, you’ll pick healthy fruit. If you grow a diseased tree, you’ll pick worm-eaten fruit. The fruit tells you about the tree.
34-37 “You have minds like a snake pit! How do you suppose what you say is worth anything when you are so foul-minded? It’s your heart, not the dictionary, that gives meaning to your words. A good person produces good deeds and words season after season. An evil person is a blight on the orchard.
Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. Words can be your salvation. Words can also be your damnation.” Matt 12:33-37

As hard as this is to read, it's so important that we don't brush over it thinking.. but we're forgiven.. and there's no condemnation.. etc etc.

Yes, that's true.

But I know for a fact that I had to learn to face this head on.

We need to recognize that my words matter. They all matter.
They don't get forgotten.. especially the words we say to our children.

I experienced five years of loss of relationship with one child.. because I expressed 'disappointment' in his behavior.. consistently. That disappointment came across as rejection. I don't remember yelling or losing my temper with the kids. But that does not mean I never got upset. I worked hard on my words.. but I should have worked harder on my heart. This child, in particular, was heavily affected by my words.

There are some things my mom and dad said, that I never have forgotten. "Donna.. how come someone with so much brain, have so little common sense?" And "You don't have to tell everyone your whole life's story!" In context.. they didn't want us spilling the beans about our family's private nightmare. I have a hard time with that one.

"You talk too much... and hurtful things about my appearance. But my father's was the worst.. "You never liked me.. even as a baby." I desperately wanted my father's love.. but he rejected me long before I was old enough to know what was going on.

I have been exceedingly careful over the years not to hurt my children with my words..and for the most part, the kids felt loved and accepted by me.. all except one. :'( One is too many losses for me.

Careless words hurt our spouses.. and our children. The cure is to deal with it from the heart. from the source.

If we are angry or bitter or frustrated (as we like to call it) or judgmental to our children, then our words will show it.

We can't be subtle enough to hide our hearts from them. The wounds can last for a lifetime. Even when there is forgiveness and restoration.. the words carry on. I don't dwell on the hard things my parents said, and I love them both dearly, but those words they said defined my reactions to life for years.

"Words can only be forgiven.. they are never forgotten."

If you have hurt with your words.. just know that the Lord does indeed forgive and so will those you love.

But today is the day to fix the source. It's not so much the words that are the problem..
but the heart they are flowing out of.

So seek the Lord. Fill your heart and mind every single day with God's word. Let Him fix the wounded places in your past so your mouth doesn't pass it on to your children.

If you do the 'one thing needful'.. and your mind and heart are full to overflowing with the truth and love of God, then when the trials come.. that's what will come out of your mouth. First in.. First Out.
Praying for our words to bring life to our family and friends.. and not pain and damage.

Love,
Donna

Dear Lord,
Put a guard on our lips.. and purify our hearts. Help us to 'fill up so much on you' that what comes out of our mouths is a pure reflection of our hearts.. and brings healing to those we love. Amen