 Simon, Simon, behold, Satan demanded to have you, that he might sift you like wheat, but I have prayed for you that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned again, strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:31-32
Is there anything more painful, than suddenly sinning in a way you never saw coming? The grief that David felt (in 2 Samuel 24) on realizing that numbering the troops was a terrible act of pride and self-confidence, cannot be expressed. To watch his people, 70,000 of them, die as a consequence, must have been almost more than he could bear. I know just how David feels!
But David's heart struck him after he had numbered the people. And David said to the Lord, “I have sinned greatly in what I have done. But now, O Lord, please take away the iniquity of your servant, for I have done very foolishly.” 2 Sam. 24:10
Only the day before yesterday, I did the same thing. How long I have been tripping along in self-confidence or indulging in little pats on the back for a job well done, I am not quite sure. But I certainly know that when the Lord let me experience a little 'walking on my own', it all became crystal clear--painfully so. The words coming out of my mouth, the self-complacency of critiquing someone else, brought me up so sharp and quick! Like David, I immediately realized that I'd sinned and just felt awful!
I was simply appalled that I had grieved the Lord so utterly and miserably. Me and my big mouth.  What saddened me most was that I would ever think of myself as anything but a hopeless sinner, unworthy to judge anyone. Who could ever hope to have sinned as bad as I have? I can't think of anyone who even comes close.
Who am I? An absolute nobody--at least apart from God's grace and the Lord's abiding love and strength. Had I forgotten who I really was? I guess so.
After experiencing so much grace, so much going from strength to strength and such a thorough understanding of my complete inability to live the Christian life, I could not have imagined stepping off into such sin. To indulge in such an unkindness to a brother however much they were unaware made me sick at heart.
Sadly, it is just too easy to get into a conversation of analyzing a seriously erring brother and then realize it was none of your business in the first place. We justify it every day but it's still gossip. My conscious just simply rebelled at the very idea but my flesh was pretty happy to go there.
Immediately, I was overcome with tears of shame, sorrow and repentance. I spent the rest of the day humbled and subdued--remembering just what a sinner I really am apart from the upholding grace of God. Boy, could I ever relate to David's pain!
And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. And Peter remembered the saying of the Lord, how he had said to him, “Before the rooster crows today, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly. Luke 22:61-62
Today, I read about Peter, and again I saw the Lord showing the kind of attitude that leads to failure and sin even in those who love the Lord with all their heart... pride, self-reliance and self-confidence. Nothing is quite as deadly as success as I wrote about last year.
I didn't know that like Peter or David, I was beginning to feel secure in my obedience.. to feel that I was 'standing'. But our dear Heavenly Father, will not allow us to walk very far down that path, thank goodness!
Why does the Lord allow us to slip or fall, when we love Him so much and want only to please Him? Partly so that we can then strengthen our brothers when it happens to them.
Is there anyone who loved God more than David? I can't think of anyone at all.
What about Peter? He was the Lord's chosen disciple to lead the church after he died and rose again. Peter--so determined to defend Jesus and love him, yet he failed worse than any of the other disciples.
But conscience should be to us as the crowing of the cock, to put us in mind of the sins we had forgotten. Peter was thus left to fall, to abate his self-confidence, and render him more modest, humble, compassionate, and useful to others. The event has taught believers many things ever since, and if infidels, Pharisees, and hypocrites stumble at it or abuse it, it is at their peril. Little do we know how we should act in very difficult situations, if we were left to ourselves. Let him, therefore, that thinketh he standeth, take heed lest he fall; let us all distrust our own hearts, and rely wholly on the Lord. Peter wept bitterly. Sorrow for sin must not be slight, but great and deep. Peter, who wept so bitterly for denying Christ, never denied him again, but confessed him often in the face of danger. True repentance for any sin will be shown by the contrary grace and duty; that is a sign of our sorrowing not only bitterly, but sincerely.~ Matthew Henry
The fact is that no one who is committed to giving their all to Jesus and to the body of Christ is going to be of much use to others unless they know the depths of the depravity of their own fleshly nature and never forget it! Nor can we help the body or disciple others unless we have first fallen in some way and recovered. Failure keeps us humble. Failure, repentance, and confidence in the Lord's forgiveness are the common sanctifying process for all of us.
As Chambers said this week, living perfect lives is not the goal of Jesus' for His disciples. Being willing to be broken bread and poured out wine for the body of Christ however, is.
If we really want to be a blessing to others, what better way than to experience the reality of our own sin nature, failure, forgiveness, and then be in a position to share genuine love and a message that, "you too can be forgiven".
And when you have turned again,
strengthen your brothers. Luke 22:32
Part of me would just love to never fail.. fall or sin.. It's embarrassing for sure. But what is a reputation? Just a temporal thing of little use.
What a blessing though, to encourage friends, that Jesus LOVES us and forgives us even when we fail--and we all do at one time or another. And what a message this world needs... that Jesus is a friend of sinners and saints who sin too.
When thou art converted - The word "converted" means turned, changed, recovered. The meaning is, when thou art turned from this sin, when thou art recovered from this heinous offence, then use "your" experience to warn and strengthen those who are in danger of like sins. A man may be "converted or turned" from any sin, or any evil course. He is "regenerated" but once - at the beginning of his Christian life; he may be "converted" as often as he falls into sin.
Strengthen thy brethren - Confirm them, warn them, encourage them. They are in continual danger, also, of sinning. Use your experience to warn them of their danger, and to comfort and sustain them in their temptations.
And from this we learn:
1. That one design of permitting Christians to fall into sin is to show their own weakness and dependence on God; and,
2. That they who have been overtaken in this manner should make use of their experience to warn and preserve others from the same path. ~ Barnes
Thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly
and to revive the heart of the contrite.. Isaiah 57:15
Dear Lord, You know my heart... and you know that I love you! A spotless reputation is not the goal of my life. You need saints who are not necessarily perfect.. only perfectly surrendered to Your purposes. May we be willing to die to anything for the sake of sharing Your grace, love, and strength to our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Thank you that it is not sinlessness that you require but a contrite heart and a heart completely relying on your grace to live a life pleasing to You. May we all gladly yield all to you to be broken bread and poured out wine for others.
Your mercies are new every morning! As far as the east is from the west so far have you removed our transgressions from us. Do not let us get discouraged but rather accept that we are human and frail.. and need Your help every minute of the day.
May we constantly watch and pray that we enter not into temptation. May we be filled with the assurance that you love us and do not condemn those who are contrite over their sin.
In your Gracious and Almighty Name I pray,
Amen
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