Determined to See Jesus

[Ramez5]

Surely I will not enter my dwelling house or get into my bed—
I will not permit my eyes to sleep or my eyelids to slumber,
Until I have found a place for the Lord, a habitation for the Mighty One of Jacob. Psalm 132:3-5

Sometimes it takes determination to seek the Lord. Like Zaccheus, we may have many obstacles to seeing the Lord. Do I have time? No.. not in the normal perspective I don't.

Every day, I face challenges, especially when it's busy--which right now, with a wedding two weeks away, is constantly, but no matter what, we can seek Him. We can find the time.

Feb. 5, 2013 I hit bottom... and from that day to this.. not because of my faithfulness but because of God's grace and my desperation.. I have not missed a single day. I didn't feel I really had a choice about that.

However, now.. so many months away from the horrible place of desperation that I was in, I could easily feel 'safe' enough to walk on my own. Life is jam packed with people and interruptions and outside commitments, yard work, volunteer work, phone calls, work.. tons of it.. more than I could ever possibly do in one day.


To choose to seek the Lord each morning and to do so with every ounce of energy and purpose that I have, is an act of faith. I have to put everything on hold every morning, keeping my eyes on the Lord and believing that somehow the impossible will get done.

I get up early because I can't feel content with just a little time, I need enough time to know that I have heard from Him. I don't want to be in a hurry because this is not just a shot in the arm.. this is what my life is all about.. though my flesh may not know that. Just a day or two and I know my heart would get distracted. This physical world is just all too 'real' and demanding.

The Lord is more polite.. waiting for us to stop, by faith, and sit down at his feet. I can assure you that that sense of pressure--of being 'out of time'--is not from the Lord. It absolutely flies out the door as soon as I turn my eyes away from the 'list'.. and to Him in prayer.

Suddenly... I feel as if I have all the time in the world. I wish I could describe it for you but it is a spiritual reality.. and objective assurance from the Lord that there is enough time to do all He wants us to do, even if there isn't enough time to do everything 'we' wanted to do.

What a privilege it is that the Lord gives us the power to choose what is best for us. We don't have to be a victim of our circumstances!

Now I have to be determined more than ever for a different reason. I have not forgotten where my safe and fruitful place came from.. the Lord only. My heart is just as willful, and fleshly and able to wander as ever.. if anything more so now when things are going so well.

Like Susanna Wesley who pulled an apron over her head so her 10 or so (living) children would know she was 'busy' with the Lord, mothers of young ones have to be more determined than most. Why did she go to so much trouble? She knew she couldn't survive and thrive apart from the Lord. The challenges of her life were just too massive.

God used her powerfully... a willing vessel.. a busy mother with no money...and overwhelming needs.

He wants to be everything to us. That takes some determination on our part as well as grace on His. He has given us the grace.. now all that is lacking is our determination to make room for Him in our lives and our hearts.

Somehow, whether on the road, with children moving home, with wedding preparations, with hubby home on Sat. mornings and wanting to do stuff (like this morning haha), in other people's homes and subject to their schedules, the Lord has always given me that little window of opportunity, to seek His face and read his word.

I have to have that time. It may not be much or it may be a lot--either way--I am determined to hear from the Lord. It might be first thing, it might be at a dental appointment, in the tire repair place, or in the living room with the kids... but I always find away..

How do you 'make' time for the Lord and for feeding your spirit? It's the same way that I often made time for other things I wanted to do or learn.

Every year, even when I homeschooled and was having babies every other year (like clockwork lol), I managed to learn a new skill. I once counted on my hands how many skills I had acquired over the years. It was well over 30 in the last 27 we've been married.

To save money, I wanted to learn to make really pretty birthday cakes. My sister, a master at cake decorating, loaned me her tips and stuff and a book to make our Dad's 50th birthday cake. It was fascinating to read about it and I wanted to learn. But I had four children then.. probably 9 and under and was homeschooling, nursing, the whole shebang.. with no money for anything. My Dad gave me a kit and some paper triangles to start.. but what I needed was time to practice.

So I made a batch of buttercream icing and put it in a tupperware container in the freezer. Every now and then the day would get a bit quiet.. maybe ten minutes of free time... out would come the container. I'd make rows and rows of shells.. just one type.. one pattern. Argh! They were so ugly! Haha! So I scooped them up.. back into the container and put it away for later. Little by little, birthday by birthday, I learned the basics. Each year I got better. But I didn't sit down and take a course on cake decorating. I didn't 'have time' for that.

Because there is a need in the volunteer work I'm doing, I'd like to be able to 'code' html. I've messed with tiny bits of code with my blogs. All I want to be able to do is widen or tweak a current website and another friend's website. It would be so much easier if I knew html. I know.. we have a wedding just around the corner! Where in the world would I find time to learn html/css coding?

Well, just ask the ladies at the dental clinic. They kept my cheap $4.00 (4" thick) html/css coding textbook on the counter for me. I read 1/2 of chapter one waiting for my appointment. The other day, Tim was late getting home and I was waiting on bathroom counter paint to dry, so for half an hour, I went through coding lessons at a website called . I'm learning! It's amazing what you can accomplish in tiny bits of time. Sometimes I Hubby and the boys are watching some 'guy movie' or playing a computer game and I'll spend an hour doing another section of the 'course' online.

In the exact same way, I redeem little bits of what would otherwise be lost time.. to read God's word, meditate, pray, worship. Long drives to run errands are my favorite. Who cares about traffic? Delays at the doctor's office? Not me. With bible CD's and KSBJ, and a small bible, I can spend just a little more time meditating on God's word, singing, praying.. and growing closer to the Lord.

I've had quiet times where I had to set my cell phone to 4:45 or earlier, and sat on a bathroom towel in a dark hotel room.. just to have a little chat with the Lord.

Worship music while working, listening to sermons while sewing, taking my 'verse' for the day jotted down on a scrap of paper so I can meditate in those little bits of time,.. even laying in bed at night trying to go to sleep, I can glean new insights, breathe bit of worship, chat with the Lord and offer up my needs to him.

What makes me so determined? The absolute rock solid conviction that without that time with the Lord, I will miss the most important part of my life for that day.. and that I cannot and will not face the day without the Lord.

Jesus is the priority.. the only one. I know life would not fall apart. Nor would I leave the Lord, but my hope, joy, and strength all come from one source.. Jesus. I have no willingness to go back to 'normal' life.The Lord is my normal life now.

David was that determined. Nothing was going to stop him because even as King of Israel, he knew his utter weakness and helplessness to do all he must do each day apart from God's help.

And he was in love with the Lord.. loved him with all his heart, mind, soul, and strength. And by the Lord's grace, so am I. I once was not. I didn't know the Lord was worth that much determined pursuit.. but I do now.

The day shouts at me.. and so does 'the List' but the Lord is where all I need to deal with that day resides.

Oswald Chambers describes this beautifully today...


The Spirit of Jesus is put into me by the Atonement, then I have to construct with patience the way of thinking that is exactly in accordance with my Lord. God will not make me think like Jesus, I have to do it myself; I have to bring every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. "Abide in Me" - in intellectual matters, in money matters, in every one of the matters that make human life what it is. It is not a bandbox life.
Am I preventing God from doing things in my circumstances because I say it will hinder my communion with Him? That is an impertinence. It does not matter what my circumstances are, I can be as sure of abiding in Jesus in them as in a prayer meeting. I have not to change and arrange my circumstances myself. With Our Lord the inner abiding was unsullied; He was at home with God wherever His body was placed. He never chose His own circumstances, but was meek towards His Father's dispensations for Him. Think of the amazing leisure of Our Lord's life! We keep God at excitement point, there is none of the serenity of the life hid with Christ in God about us.
Think of the things that take you out of abiding in Christ - Yes, Lord, just a minute, I have got this to do; Yes, I will abide when once this is finished; when this week is over, it will be all right, I will abide then. Get a move on; begin to abide now. In the initial stages it is a continual effort until it becomes so much the law of life that you abide in Him unconsciously. Determine to abide in Jesus wherever you are placed.

Just as people only lose weight by focused determination, or run marathons, or organize events.. by making that thing the priority or focus, so we must be if we want to abide in Christ. Do we want Him that much?

We are as close to the Lord as we want to be. Once my heart just simply didn't want to be that close. So I asked the Lord to change my heart.

We can't make our selves love the Lord, but we can ask the Lord to change us so we do. Trials have a way of making us desperate.Joy makes us determined. Taste and see that the Lord is good!

Our hearts are Christ's habitation now. We can go there any time, in any place.

God's word, sermons, audio clips... we have so many resources! I have apps galore on my cell phone, a bible in my glove compartment, tote a bible with me to appointments, bible cd's in my car cd player (left in my Dad's things)--all because I know without the Lord I will revert to relying on my flesh and my heart, in our crazy and attractive world, will grow cold so quickly!

Feeding our soul must be our first care! Just like the airline stewardess reminds us.. first get oxygen for yourself, then you can give it to your children or dependants.

You are precious to him Dear Friends.. and the Lord loves you and wants to sup with you. Will you make a determined place in your heart and day for Him?

You will be so glad you did!

Dear Lord,

May you so open our eyes of faith each day, to the reality that you are a rewarder of those that diligently seek You. May we be willing to be made hungry and thirsty for you. Help us to trust you that whatever is on the list can wait for ten minutes, 15, 20.. or even more. Every day is better, more joyful, more glorious, more faith driven.. abiding in You.

Remind us that apart from you we can do nothing.

Amen.

[Mary Naeem]

Thanks Ramez